Things they SHOULD teach you at school…

I was never much for high school, but then again unless you are Blair Waldforf I honestly don’t think anybody had a completely enjoyable experience. The early mornings, the dinner ladies practically timing you in the toilets because god forbid you take longer than 10 seconds to wee and the hideousness that was exams and homework. Now I was fortunate because I do have a lot of nice memories of high school, I mean I think its because I have blocked out a lot of the bad ones, but still happy memories. But I don’t think it was a high point in my life.

You come away from high school with all sorts of useless information such as how to find out the angle of a triangle, how to burn monster munch in a Bunsen burner and my personal favourite, leaning all the words to the suffragette song out of Mary Poppins (I kid you not a good few history lessons were devoted to this and I am yet to use it in my day to day life… maybe I am living life wrong? I don’t know just a thought).

But there are many things I have now encountered as a grown up (legally, however this is debatable as I am quite tiny and still fit into teen sizes. You may laugh but when I am paying half the price for that on trend crop top it is a win.) which I feel school just did not prepare me for so here they are:

  1. What to do if you do not like the haircut you have been cursed with at the hairdressers

Now I do love my hairdressers but I have come out with some absolute stinkers. A week before prom I asked for a trim, read a page of my book, looked up and hello, bob. It was traumatic to say the least. However I smiled through the pain and nodded when she showed me the back, paid for what can only be described as a hack job, went home and sobbed. I mean come on it’s not just me right? What on earth do you do when you come out looking like someone lost control of a lawn mower near your head? We need to add this to the curriculum guys step it up…

2. How to ask for the bill in a restaurant.

This has plagued me for many years and I know what you are thinking, this girl just clearly seems to struggle with life but stick with me. I, being Brittish, never want to pressure them into bringing me the bill even though I am pretty sure it is the money they are interested in. However shouting it across the restaurant would set of the tutting which you only encounter when around people from our great nation (aren’t we fun). So I am stuck resorting to what I can only describe as a high stakes staring match, as I have to stare at them long enough to gain their eye contact to then gesture that I would like the bill (you will have seen this done, it’s basically pretending to write in the air and I don’t know who came up with it but that person is probably laughing at us all now, or maybe it’s just my odd family that does it ) . This ‘gesture’ however is often so over the top that frankly it would have probably been easier, less embarrassing and time consuming just to shout. It often takes me as long to ask for this bill as it does for me to sit down, order, eat the meal and drive home. I don’t know why I find this such a complex life situation but it is don’t you think?

I will leave you with those for now and the clear evidence I have presented that the school system is failing us all… well almost I mean hey I do know every word to the suffragette song.

P.s if you want to check it out here it is because I too want you to have this clearly vital leaning experience…


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